Monday 30 November 2015
Special Edition 161
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Growing up with Two Mums: Millie's Story
From VoxPoint, FamilyVoice Australia's national magazine, November 2015
Millie Fontana loves both her biological mother and her lesbian partner. But her deep longing to know her
sperm-donor father - half of her identity - has led her to speak out against legalising same-sex marriage.
Below is an edited transcrpt of her speech at the Australian Christian Lobby's 'Cost of Equality' event in
Melbourne on 20/8/15.
This is a testimony that is almost unheard of - because nobody wants to hear about the other side of the
rainbow: the side that isn't catered for, that didn't grow up happy.
Growing up, I wanted a father. I felt it before I could ever articulate what a father was. I knew that I loved
both of my parents. But at school I started to realise, through observing other children and their loving
bonds with their fathers, that I was missing out on something special.
I was lied to. I was told that I didn't have a father, or that they didn't know who he really was. It was
difficult for me to affirm a stable identity because of this, and my behavioural and emotional stability
suffered because of it.
I'm raised an atheist with no religious affiliations. Yet I stand with Christians, because so far in this debate
Christians are the only people reflecting the issues of children. Nobody in the LGBT lobby wants tomhear from
someone like me, because "love is love" - right?
Growing up, I would look in the mirror and wonder where I got my green eyes and certain aspects of my
personality. The answeris quite simple: my father. And it turns out I also have an uncle, an aunty, a grandmother
and many loving cousins. Who were my parents to decide what parts of me were acceptible to reveal?
Meetinmyg my father at 11 years old was probably the only time I had been a stable child. I saw who I really was for
the very first time. Not because I'd fantasied about having a father - but because I could affirm my
identity based on this man. If I hadn't met my father, I wouldn't be standing here today - because my
emotional reaction to not having him in my life, even at such a young age, was devastating. It caused me to
regress in my development.
There's a lot of talk about equality from the LGBT lobby, but for me equality was being told the truth, was being
respected for who I was as a whole. Equality was being able to look at both sides of my genetic family and
understand who I am. The LGBT lobby lie and say that men and women are interchangeable. I consider this to
be a form of gender discrimination. Men and women offer complementary roles in childrearing and should
be respected equally.
How would psychologists have treated me for my underlying issues of fatherlessness if to acknowledge fatherlessness
was a form of discrimination? How would any physician, under threat of legal action, have treated me under
that circumstance? Nobody thinks before we rush ahead. "Gener equality" is an extremist minority thaqt is pushing
the extinction of gender itself.
It's funny the way the gaqy lobby talks about homophobia. I've had friends of mine saying that gay people call
them "homophobic" because they would ideally prefer to raise children with a mother and a father. How
utterly ridiculous! Was I homophobic when I was looking in the mirror wondering where my father was?
Absolutely not! But I do love all three of my parents equally.
Until we as a society have a discussion that includes children like me, until we stop shaming children in my
position for coming forward, we should not be pushing (same-sex) marriage through. Everybody deserves a
voice, and I won't let people shame Christians, or anybody of faith, for standing up for children.
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